Everybody Gets a Turn
Feb 11, 2015 05:01 pm | Katie
In
November of last year, I made the decision to move my mom to Nashville.
I say I made it, because I did. She didn’t agree with my decision. She
still doesn’t. She will tell you today I kidnapped her and she’s looking
for someone to take her back to Huntsville.
After successful surgery and
radiation treatment for an acoustic neuroma, it became obvious to me
that I needed her closer to me so I could take better care of her. It
wasn’t as obvious to mom.
She told me she had been taking care of herself for her entire life and she didn’t need any help now.
But she did.
We all need help from time to
time. Nobody can make it on his or her own. I haven’t. I grew up in a
very loving, Christian home. Mom and dad were always there for me. I
can’t tell you the number of friends I’ve had step up for me over the
years. Sooner or later, everybody needs help. In this life, everybody
gets a turn.
For the last 2 years of my
dad’s life, Mom took care of him around the clock. I’m not exaggerating.
I don’t know how much she was able to sleep in those 24 months or so,
but it wasn’t much and frankly, it took a toll on her. I will always
love her for the way she loved my dad. Now, she wouldn’t change anything
she did. In fact, she would have given more if there had been a way to
do it. She paid a high price for her choices.
So, now, she needs me. We’ve
moved her into a new apartment and gradually she’s adjusting to her new
realities. For the longest time, she wouldn’t let me bring any furniture
in because she wasn’t staying. Now, we at least have few pieces moved
in. We have coffee most mornings and talk about things. She still
doesn’t like me wearing jeans to the office. She still resents I have to
make some decisions for her. The other day she told me to go to the
doctor myself since I had made the appointment. Most days, however, we
get along.
In our visits, I’ve noticed
something new. When we’re talking about something, she’ll ask my
opinion. Here’s why that’s interesting. My mother has never asked me for
my opinion. Never. Why should she? She gave me my opinions in the first
place. Why would she ask for things that she herself had given to me?
My mom’s strong—really strong. Now, she just isn’t so sure. She’s lost a
little confidence. She’s a little more hesitant to decide. She waits
for me to respond. In her own way, she’s asking for help.
She needs me. That’s fine. I’m glad to be here for her. She’s always been there for me. Now, it’s my turn to be there for her.
And I am.
It’s her turn.
It’s my turn.
In this life, everybody gets a turn.