Forgiveness is Like the Weather

Forgiveness is Like the Weather Editor's Note:  Forgiveness: Overcoming the Impossible by Matthew West features fifty powerful stories that share forgiveness through divorce, betrayal, addiction, abandonment, death, and more. Each story ties into the promises of God’s faithfulness and healing, and ends with the story of God’s ultimate forgiveness through the message of salvation. You're invited to read Alice's story, then continue to our blog to watch the video and read the rest of this exclusive excerpt from Matthew's book.  Alice's Story: It was pitch black and pouring rain as I drove myself and my two boys away from the nightmare we had been living. Afraid of what he would do when he found us missing, I called to tell him we had left. He begged me to stop, to tell him where I was so he could get us. I didn’t. I dialed my parents. I drove through the tears and the rain, and my dad kept me driving. He had given me simple instructions: “Drive here and then call me” followed by “Drive here and then call me.” Eventually my parents talked me the rest of the way in, while I had only a vague awareness of where we were. When we arrived at the shelter, the hosts led us to a small room. The boys sat on the floor and played while I answered questions and filled out registration forms. The rules were strict: set curfew; set bedtime; children could not be left unattended; daily chores; no visitors. Then we were shown our room. It had a single bed and a bunk bed. We woke in the morning and went for a walk. With the first step outside the door, I knew we were home. I knew God had brought us home. The other day I came across the admissions folder for that shelter where we stayed that first night. Inside was the picture that my older son had drawn while waiting for me to register. On that dark, sad, raining night, he had drawn a picture of a bright sunshiny day. That is how it felt to finally be free from the prison of abuse. . . . At some point during our ten-year marriage, I conceded and simply accepted the abuse. But with acceptance I was still imprisoned. Now that I have broken free of that prison, I can choose to forgive my former husband’s actions, but I no longer choose to accept them. With forgiveness I feel no more anger. Forgiveness allows me greater perspective and helps me see our relationship for what it was. Forgiveness is, for me, a continuous issue. It is an ongoing process. My abuser is still very much a part of my life because of the boys, so he still has plenty of opportunities to hurt me. Matthew 18:22 (NKJV) comes to mind for me: I will most likely have to forgive him seventy times seven times. I know I will struggle in some instances more than others. But if I were not to forgive him, I could not objectively guide my boys through the complications that come with our divorce. Complications that mean they understand on some level why I left their father, but they will also still love him. Forgiveness allows me to tell my boys stories of the good times, memories that show them they come from a place of love. Most of all I work on forgiving myself. I have long since let go of the idea that I was at fault for the abuse in my marriage. However, I still feel the tremendous weight of the effect this has had on my boys. A mother should protect her children. I failed them. I allowed them to see things no child should ever see. That is not something I can make go away. It happened, and we deal every day with the lasting effects. Continue to our blog to read Matthew's response and watch his acoustic performance of his hit single, Forgiveness, from his latest album.